episode 102

The Ego Postpartum

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Your ego grieves any changes, & motherhood is a big change.

It's never more fresh than postpartum. Listen in today to find out what your ego is & how it's contributing to any low/anxious/depressiveness in your motherhood and/or postpartum. I'll share 3 things to do to release that pain & replace it with life & love. Your maternal mental health won't be the same.
Show Notes

Hello, everybody. Welcome back to the podcast! I got on, took a little gander the other day. Didn’t even realize that I have a ton of new reviews on this podcast. So don’t just say thanks. I wanted to read a couple of them. This one’s from Gigi Julie. She says Wow, just wow. It’s a five star review. “This girl gets it. I am taking home tools every time I listen. Tools that inspire me helped me deal with the curves life is constantly throwing at me, helped me center myself and find peace and joy. I never thought I could come this far this quickly. Thank you, Lizzie.” Oh my gosh, you’re welcome, Julie! 

Um, this one is from the end of December in 2020. Risingstronger, five star review. She’s titled it with So many helpful ideas. “I love the new and insightful thoughts that he shares that I am not currently in the postpartum period. But I have a mental health problem. I have mental health challenges triggered by motherhood. And it is so helpful for me. The thing I love the most is that she gives me the tools to figure out solutions for my own life. In an encouraging way, thank you for sharing your gifts with the world, Lizzie.”

This is like my first time reading some of these. I just want to say to risingstronger thank you for this review and I want you to know and everybody here listening to no this is this is totally not a podcast just for postpartum women. I mean that is the title and that is my story. And I do definitely weave in a lot of postpartum themes, but postpartum is in the greater context of motherhood. So my maternal mental health, motherhood, mental health, mental health in a woman as it relates to her motherhood, that is what we are here for. 

Let me read one more this is from ElizabethWalker1719 she says gratitude for postpartum five stars: “I am 15 months postpartum and have been struggling with postpartum depression for four plus years since the birth of our first child. My life has been full of anger, sadness, depression, anxiety since my daughter was born 15 months ago. Our story involves trauma where I almost died. The aftermath was a version of me that I did not recognize. It impacted my marriage, how I interacted with my children and me. I found Lizzy here and listened to one of her episodes as I was unloading the dishwasher and listening to why anger is a part of postpartum depression. I realized she understood me. I mean, I immediately messaged for a free consult, which I did and then signed up to meet with her weekly. 

The transformation of my life is remarkable. In a short time, Lizzie has helped me move past the anger and hurt of our birth story. I am gentler, more loving to me and more loving to others. What I love about Lizzie in person and in the podcast is that one, she has had birth trauma and postpartum depression herself. Two, she speaks truth lovingly and gently. And three, she has a remarkable GIFT to help postpartum depression, moms, heal, restore and grow. I am so much stronger because of Lizzie. I listened to her podcasts often while meeting with her. I am thankful that God led me to her and excited to see how she will help me with my marriage, family expectations and how I will be a better Mama.” And then four hearts, red ones. Thank you, oh my gosh, there’s even more. So more to come. I’ll try not to binge you all. I think three is enough for today. But that gives me the warm and fuzzies, I love this podcast. I love this place. And I love being here with you guys. Today I want to teach you about the ego, which is basically your brain in psychology when we hear the term ego. 

And the reason I want to talk about this is because I did not realize for the longest time how in my brain I was and how much my ego was running my life. So I’ve told you on this podcast that the brain avoids pain, seeks pleasure, likes to take the path of least resistance, likes to do what’s familiar, comfortable, easy, and all that stuff. And that’s true. But I’ve also learned through energy work, I’ve been learning more about the brain and really the ego. And what I’ve learned is that the ego is also hungry to have an identity and identity is really important to your ego. So in contrast, just by example, your spirit doesn’t need an identity like you don’t need to have a name. I’m not saying That, you know, our spirit inside of our body doesn’t have a name. I don’t have an opinion on that. But what I know is that when it comes to motherhood, sometimes our identity feels so changed so drastically, we don’t do the same things we used to. 

And literally, we’re not even called Lizzie by our children, you know, or your first name, insert your name here, we’re called mom, we take on a completely new identity. Now, we’re still who we are. But for the ego, we’re also not any time that you have an identity change in any way, you’re going to have grief, suffering, you’re going to feel a loss. And if you don’t know that that’s coming, and you’re not able to recognize. it’s going to get buried under the surface or possibly, and or stuck in your body. And you’re going to end up depressive, anxious, snapping at your kids and not knowing why. So if that’s you, I want you to know that it’s possible that, especially if you’re a first time mom, but this happens, even going from two to three babies, or three to four babies or etc, four to five and beyond. For any time you are the mother of three, that’s your identity is I’m a mom of three, right? If you were at a party, and you were introducing yourself, my name is Lizzie, I love volleyball, and singing and coaching and I’m a mom of three kids.

And then you have a fourth baby, you are no longer a mom of three kids, you are a mom of four. And I know that to the conscious logical brain. It’s like okay, no big deal. But to your ego, it is a big deal. It’s a big deal. Anytime you shift identity, it’s kind of an upheaval, for your ego, and a lot of times for your confidence and for your centeredness, for your groundedness literally for your chakras. And not to mention childbirth and all the other things that come up postpartum. So I wanted to teach you about this so that you can help gently guide your ego, I want you to think about your ego like a child, okay? A child who was just told that they are no longer going to be a soccer player, they’re going to be a baseball player. Maybe the team was too full, maybe you couldn’t afford to take them, maybe it was too far away. Maybe they just closed down because of COVID. Right? Imagine how your child is going to react if they go from thinking and believing they’re, they’re on a soccer team. And they’re a soccer player so I’m now a baseball player, or whatever sport, it’s not just gonna be like, oh, okay, I mean, maybe on the rare chance, you might have a kid that really doesn’t care. 

But most of the time, that ego is going to be like what, you know, the ego is the part of you that always wants to know what’s gonna happen in the future that loves plans. And that is very uncomfortable with not knowing, right, because everything that happens, your ego is talking to you about it through language, and putting labels on it. So let’s say you’re walking down the street, and you see a tree. pure consciousness or your heart space is just like the tree just is there’s there’s no words needed. You just see the tree, you feel the tree, you connect with the energy of the tree, it’s there. It’s just, it’s neutral. It just is there. And you experience the tree. But the ego wants to talk to you about the tree and your conscious mind. Like, oh, that tree is so pretty. It reminds me of my grandma’s tree. I wonder how my grandma is doing today better than on you go. Okay, so that’s her ego. So when you talk about postpartum, postpartum is an identity game. It is a time of helping the ego and kind of coaching the ego along like you would that child who is now not a soccer player, a baseball player? Well, let’s use that as an example.

Okay, and then we’ll come back to your ego. If you were to tell that to your child, and you knew that they had their heart set on soccer, you’re like, I know. But honey, the team is too full. They can’t take any more kids. And none of the teams in the league that were in your age group have any more room. But we looked up other sports and we found baseball and it’s right across from our house and your friend Tommy’s doing it too, you’re gonna love it, right? Like you would kind of have to sell it to him. And maybe even if you did sell it to him, he’d be like, “But mom, I really wanted to do soccer. And I already like picking out the cleats I want.” And bla bla bla bla bla, right? 

And so he’s kind of in that world, because his ego has been already bringing and pulling parts of that into his identity. He’s got to learn how to not just be excited about baseball, he can’t be excited about baseball, he cannot be excited about baseball until he releases the attachment to this identity of being a soccer player and to that plan and to that expectation, right? A lot of us when expectations change, we don’t do well. This is the ego and this is just a matter of managing the ego. So coming back to you, your ego postpartum. Let’s say you went from zero babies to being a mom. That is a huge shift for your ego for your identity as you’re no longer just, you are a woman and you are a wife, but now you took on a new identity. 

And you also are no longer you know, I’m going to use Lizzy but insert your name. Lizzie without kids, Sarah without kids, Madeline without kids. Now you are Lizzie with kids, you know, it’s like, you will never be the same again, ever, right? You are the same, but you also aren’t. And there is a grieving that your ego goes through, and you’re gonna want to be able to number one, notice that and depression is the number one sign, I’m not even gonna say depression, I’m going to say depressive illness. Anxiety is also a sign from your subconscious to you that this needs attention. So number one recognizes. that it’s there. And those are two really good signs. But other signs could be chronic pain, you can have chronic pain that won’t go away. Now, chronic pain can be related to stored emotions of any kind. And it doesn’t just have to be this grief related to your identity and your ego. 

So I just want to say if you’re having chronic pain, if you’re feeling anxious, or depressed, it’s not necessarily to do with the identity shift and the ego. But if I’m speaking about this to you, and you’re like, Oh, yes, I can see that I haven’t really given time and attention to that. Chances are, this is a factor for you. So like I was saying before, there are three steps and I’ll just touch on each of them briefly. And then if you want more help with this, if you don’t want to be anxious and depressive if you are feeling as you listen to this episode that you have some an unintended to or unresolved grief or trauma or anything like that, that’s coming up now postpartum, give me a ring, you know, so just go book a consult, the little spiel will be at the end of this, it’s just lizzielangston.com/consult.  

So number one, you’re gonna want to identify that energy. Number two, you’re going to want to gather it and number three, you’re going to want to release it and I like to add on not just release it, but replace it with love and light. Okay, so light is light and love is the emotion that is the highest vibration. And so, the best cure for depressive illness and anxiousness is actually love. Love for yourself is often what I realized as I look back before I really understood more within the world of energy stuff. I realized that that’s ultimately what I was guiding people towards is love for themselves. And that love was literally releasing and then replacing old negative stored emotions or maybe not even very old, maybe recent past, right, that have just happened with the birth of your baby and postpartum. 

But that is actually the solution. Emotionally speaking, depression and anxiety are emotionally based issues. I mean, there are cases in which it’s more physical, but oftentimes, even physical imbalances like hormones, and chemical imbalances in the brain, and even mineral mineral imbalances are actually all chain reaction effects of stored energy in your body. So really quickly, I’ll just tell you that I was just actually taught this by my client today, who is the bomb calm, like nutrition, mineral lady. She was just telling me how, when we noticed mineral imbalances, which then can translate to hormonal imbalances, which a lot of people think that depression and anxiety postpartum they, they’re like, Oh, I just need to get my hormones regulated. Yes, but ultimately, the stem root cause is actually the energy that’s taking up space in your body and vibrating in a way that is messing with hormones and minerals. 

So an emotion and emotion which is energy that gets trapped men, the reason it gets trapped is because you probably didn’t have enough awareness at the time of its happening in order to process it all. Or if you did have the awareness, it was just too overwhelming for your body, for your system for your ability to process it. And so those things can get stored. And so that can actually be the foundation of a lot of hurting a lot of pain. A lot of imbalances and depression and anxiety are just an extension of those imbalances. So let’s start with where we go, which is just noticing it. 

And honestly, I think you’ve checked that box just by listening to this podcast, I’ve given you enough information to kind of look at your life and your symptoms and be like, okay, is this identity grief happening? Number two is gathering it. So what that means is you now I do this in my sessions in my group coaching program that I’m launching right now, or whenever you hear this, if we’re not doing group coaching, and there’s like a membership, or I don’t even know what’s to come here at Lizzie Langston, as we grow, we keep growing. But however to work with me, we do this. So I do this work with my clients, but I’m gathering the energy with intention, asking myself, When was the first time that I remember feeling this feeling? I will say that the tricky part is some of you guys listening, you want to get to the bottom of it, you want to gather it and find it and you won’t be able to, because there is. And I don’t say that, you know, it just sucks. There’s a lot of us that are just so kind of disconnected with ourselves that even if we wanted to find an emotion, we are like, where do we even begin? Right? There has to be a certain level of connection with yourself to be able to identify these things on your own. The good news is I can connect on your behalf with your body and I can help you find these things and release them. 

Because I am like a superconductor woman, and you can get there too, but it’s you. Okay, I can’t talk, you first have to restore a connection with yourself. I was just talking to somebody today on a console who was having a hard time connecting with themselves. That is the main issue I want you to know. That is the main issue is there’s this obliviousness, this disconnect within ourselves, which comes from us getting swept into this new identity of motherhood, we throw ourselves full force into the identity of mom, that we disconnect and kind of neglect the identity of Lizzie or whatever your name is, right? Who you were before baby, that’s such an important identity to continue keeping and having if you want balance in your body, and emotionally and mentally. Okay, so gather it up. But ways to do this, I like to just put my hand on my heart and I like to pretend that my hand is an energy sucker. And it is like I put my hand on my heart, or maybe if you have pain in a certain part of your body, you can put your hand on that part of your body.

And I want you to just imagine, with intention, that you are gathering the energy to that one place where your hand is, and then when you’re ready, you can tell it to release and you can release it. Now once you do that, it’s literally done but I like to invite it to be replaced with love and light and you can actually learn how to transmute that emotion in your body from sadness, or fear or whatever it is to love and light in the same instant. But for me right now I’m just releasing them and then inviting them to be replaced by love and light. And this is not rocket science. It’s actually easy. And it’s so easy that the ego, which likes things that are familiar and not new, likes to kind of poke fun or downplay this or be really skeptical. So if you’re feeling any of that right now, if you’re like, Oh, that’s a bunch of hullabaloo. I’ve always wanted to say that on the podcast, perfect.

Check. If you’re finding yourself really skeptical., don’t worry, you’re in good company. Most people feel skeptical. I would just say stick with this podcast because I’m gonna keep giving you little insights and dosages into the healing power, which I believe comes to us and is possible through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, I am a Christ centered healer and energy worker person. So I just want you to know that you got to give the glory to God. But when you do, and when you invite him in, truly you can be emotionally released. It’s possible and you are a healer. We are all healers because we are cut from the same quilt as God, spiritually speaking and through his gracious and generous power and Atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ, we can be healed. I really know that’s true. 

So I have a group starting April 2 2021. If you listen to this episode, after that date, don’t worry, I’m sure I have something for you just keep listening. But if you guys get this episode in the next week or so I just want you to know that we’re going baby, I’ve got like a half a dozen women in there so far. And we’ve got room for probably a half a dozen or so more. So if you want to join us, we’re going to be doing energy work and healing that way. We’re also going to be doing traditional coaching, I mean, to me, they’re kind of one in one, they’re one in all we just blend them together beautifully. You don’t need to worry about that, I’ll just give you whatever you need. As you want to be coached, we meet weekly, we’re going to be meeting weekly Friday mornings at 10am Mountain Standard Time. And it’s $1,000 for the three months. And if you want to join us, I think you should, it’d be amazing.

 

So go to lizzielangston.com/consult, to do a 30 minute consult with me for group coaching. I will just say that vulnerability equals connection. And connection is literally I just finished saying it’s a connection to yourself and to others, but especially to yourself that you actually need. So we have a Facebook group that we’re going to join. Everybody in the group will join that Facebook group. And one of the rules is that like, yes, we’re there to support each other. But we’re also there for ourselves and we’re the main relationship you want to bolster even though it’s so fun to be around other friends is your relationship with yourself. So we’re all going to be alongside each other as peers, strengthening our relationship with our self together, reviving it revitalizing it healing it restoring, releasing trapped negative emotions that are creating anxiousness and oppressiveness, postpartum and restoring them with light, love truth, you do not have to be postpartum to join this group.

Okay, I understand that there’s a lot of moms on this podcast, as we read in the reviews today that don’t really identify as postpartum but are struggling with mental health stuff and other symptoms that are coming up along their path of motherhood. And I want you to know you are more than welcome and invited so this is not just part of exclusive. Okay. So to do that again lizzielangston.com/consult and we’ll talk to you guys next week. Love you. Bye.

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